What a week to return to blogging! This past week seemed like a perfect disaster of news. There was an earthquake on the East Coast, poor Jayden Smith’s parents finally said “never” to their marriage, and most importantly, Brenda Song from “Suite Life” is preggers all thanks to Miley Cyrus’s weird looking emo brother! And that was all in the same day! Throw in a weekend closing hurricane and it was definitely a week to remember. That said, I am glad that none of these events happened on my birthday as I do not like being overshadowed (why else am I 6’4”?).
So you are probably wondering where the hell I have been. Great question. Originally, I was planning on writing a blog after my July trip to Boston but never got around to it. And then I decided to wait until I hit 500 viewers until my next blog post. But that came and went (thanks to my new loyal Twitter fanbase). Finally, I guess I could make my triumphant return (complete with new entrance theme music) to write about my sister’s wedding. Rather, I will talk about all of the above. Why? Because you deserve it! Yay you.
I Think I’ll Go To Boston
I guess I should begin with my trip to Boston. In mid-July, I made my valiant return to my hometown for nine days of drinking, tanning, eating, and catching up with as many characters as I could find over that short period. Overall, I had fun even though it was one of the biggest mindfucks of my life. Even Ronnie would have recommended a Magnum sized mind condom. If you have ever wondered what things would be like had you not made a certain decision, then this would have been the trip for you! Had I not moved to the lovely DMV, I would suspect that my weeklong Boston trip was just a snippet of what my life would be like. It was quite surreal. I mean I even went to the gym at the same time I used to!
The trip to Boston was also the pinnacle of my great summer tan and my beard experiment. I was at my brownest thanks to a combination of water park visits (haven’t been back there since unfortunately), a fourth of July lakehouse spectacular, and the following bodacious activities in Boston – two days on the Cape, one day boating, and one day at the beach in Boston. By the time I returned to DC, it would have been appropriate to call me UPS because there was a lot I could have done for you.
The beard was also another successful early summer spectacle. Even though the reviews were positive and I dropped $19.95 on a beard trimmer, the beard came to an end once I returned from Boston. Between a weeklong work function and my sister’s upcoming wedding, I needed to get myself in a clean and proper form. Will the beard make a return at some point?
Twittastic
Within a week, my love affair with Google Plus hit the skids. Almost immediately after its launch, G+ became the world’s largest internet sausage fest thanks to the fact that only guys got initial invites. Hence, most girls only received an invite from the creepy dudes who stalk them on Facebook. So why would any girl want to join G+ if she only knows of the creepers that are on there? She wouldn’t. That’s why Google Plus is still a sausage fest and a website that I have not posted on for over a month (well until this blog post goes live).
For the record, I think I only sent out one invite to a girl. I am not that creepy.
With G+ DOA, I decided to expand my social media network by joining Twitter. The reasoning was two-fold: first, I wrote some damn funny tweets in my last blog update and second, I found myself checking certain people’s twitterpages daily anyway. Okay, maybe I am that creepy.
Anyway, why not create an account and have a one-stop news feed for all my favorites? So please follow your favorite internet savior (that would be me) @jsmall4000. Why 4000? Because it’s greater than 3000, silly. Together, we will tweet about random things that I find ironic and/or funny, retweet my favorite tweets from famous people (and Bree Olsen), and most importantly, kill time that could be spent working.
By the way, my favorite moment using Twitter so far – this tweet “seriously contemplating acupuncture. better do it before i ever cheat death. #fdv” got me two doctor followers. Sadly, both have unfollowed me by now. Sucks for them because my first appointment is next week!
Yes, I’m serious. Jeff vs. the needles will happen. Hopefully, I will be able to live tweet throughout it!
Wedding
A couple weeks ago, I attended my sister’s wedding. It was fun. That’s all.
And so this ends my summer wrap-up blog post. The good news is I am already working on the follow-up. Expect that by the end of the week unless I get tied up shuffling.
