Miseria Cantare

Judging by all of my blog posts, you probably think that I am some sort of a vacation/trip aficionado. But really, that’s not the case. For instance, I am not made of money, sometimes prefer a quiet weekend, and most importantly, do not look like Denny Crane or a gnome. It just so happened that I followed up a trip to Podunk, PA with a weekend in Charlottesville which was followed by a trip to lovely Miami, Florida. Or so I thought…

But before we just jump in unprotected, let’s wrap things up with a little backstory. Normally, I am in charge of booking vacations/weekend stays/”where the fuck dinner be” activities with my friends. Some might say it is because I am a leader and am dedicated to my craft. Most will tell you it is because I am a control freak, stubborn as all hell, and whine excessively when I do not get my way. Honestly, it is a combination of both. (At least everybody can attest that I am passionate.)

This particular trip was different. Perhaps it had to do with my company – unlike, vacations past, this trip did not include high school or college friends. Rather, I ventured on my first trip with a Bostonian (we will call him Matt). For those who know Matt, my condolences. For those who do not, Matt was one of my first friends I made in Boston (I only had to pay him monthly for his services!) and is responsible for helping me meet many “interesting” people/friends at the Brighton Bally Total Fitness. Suffice to say, if I never met Matt at Bally, I have no fucking idea what my time in Boston would have been like. Probably way worse off.

(A sidenote: Matt was afraid of what I would write about him in this blog. So far it’s been pretty positive. We shall see…)

Check out my sweet 'stache!

So where was I? Oh yes, booking the vacation. Well, outside of the airfare, the entire trip was booked the first night we were in Florida. While we had ideas of what to do, very little was set in stone. Even the first night had some mystery to it. You see, Matt’s parents rented this mansion in South Beach for a week. I thought we were staying at a townhouse but nope, it was much bigger (and nicer). And this mansion was next door to a home owned by Ricky Martin! Unfortunately, I did not see Ricky Martin or even Pretty Ricky. Then again, I am not even sure if I would recognize even him as the last time I saw him was in the Nobody Wants to Be Lonely music video (which was awesome). And that song came out ten years ago! Hell, I am not even sure if I would even recognize myself from ten years ago. Luckily for you, I keep all my yearbooks!

Now why would we venture out to the Keys if we could have been “Livin’ La Vida Loca”? Simple, we weren’t the only house guests in Miami. Rather Matt’s entire family was there. And let’s just say they are quite the eccentric bunch. Especially at birthday parties as they like to roast the birthday boy/girl. Considering Comedy Central’s roasts are normally hit or miss and I’d give you a guess at the quality of the roast. Yup, somewhere between rump roast and filet mignon. As you can probably guess, it would not have been ideal for us to spend the weekend in Miami.

So what are boys to do? It’s now midnight Saturday and nothing is booked for the weekend. Well, if you are like me, you grab a computer and commence to shoppin’! Thanks to the lovely Naomi Pryce (yes, that’s the correct spelling – I Wiki’d it), we were able to get a great deal at the Sheraton Suites Key West. And thanks to Royal Rent A Car, we got an even better deal on Ford Mustangs for the weekend. Not always do things work out in the last minute – but this time, it did!

Saturday morning, after a brief sleep, we embarked on a trip to the Florida Keys. As you will soon learn, it was splendid. Which you will soon learn about… in the next blog post!