Avid fans of my Youtube videos might remember a prophetic remark that I made at the end of my 24th Birthday video – “White People Suck”. Now while I was heavily waisted when I made that statement, there is some validity to it. And there is a ton of invalidity too. If I had to go back in time to that epic night, I would have told myself to do a few things differently – do not become emotionally attached to “Snakes on a Plane”, invent Twitter, and most importantly, change my statement to “White People Are Strange.” That statement became apparent over the weekend when I trekked out to Charlottesville, VA to watch the lovely horse race known as Foxfields.
A disclaimer: I hate Charlottesville. Okay, maybe hate is a tad strong, but the town definitely ranks towards the bottom of my favorite places to visit (right alongside Mechanicsburg, PA). And no, that has nothing to do with not getting into UVA for college (sshhhh - don't tell my dad). That would be petty. And y’all know I don’t hold grudges. Ahem…
According to their website, “For over 30 years The Foxfield Racing Association has provided a beautiful setting for the equestrian sport of steeplechasing. The alluring but challenging Foxfield course was designed to attract Thoroughbred owners and trainers, and to provide the jockey and his mount with a beautiful ride over rolling lush green turf.” (Works Cite that shit, bitch.) White people not only love horse races, but this event also allows them to dress up in the most ridiculous clothes this side of Halloween. Or perhaps a Baptist Church Easter Celebration.
If I could only use one-word to describe their clothes, it would have to be pastelmania. Seriously, thousands of people dressed up in seersucker or their favorite Easter Egg color just because they could. I was hoping that a little child would start plucking them from the sky, but alas, that could only happen in my imagination (sadly I left my cough syrup at home). It’s probably a good thing because plastic grass would make a turrible green turf.
You might be asking yourself – “Well Jeff, if you hate UVA and you hate fashion, then why did you go to Foxfields?” Too easy! It’s because I hate sobriety and thanks to my ridiculously white Indian friend, Aashish (now known as Roger), I had free passes for the all-day open bar. (I do need to give Aashish some credit for putting up with my “Yo man, you are so white” jokes all weekend. That said, I will not give him credit for wearing boat shoes.)
Alcohol definitely helped me enjoy my Foxfields Adventure as seen by my super silly “look how high I can jump picture.” And since I was neither in pastels nor wearing a straw hat, I felt foreign enough to pose for pictures with a peace sign. Those should hit Facebook soon. Let’s just hope the privacy settings don’t keep them away from you people.
I know, not the best choice of words to end the post. Ahem…
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